Law school trains lawyers to talk—how to write, negotiate, and argue. We spend so much time thinking about what we are going to say and how we are going to say it that we often forget saying nothing at all is also an option.
Silence is uncomfortable. People often feel the need to fill the silence either because it is awkward or because they see it as an opportunity to drive their point.
Allowing yourself to sit in silence—even for a few moments—may change the course of your conversations. You may learn information you otherwise would not have learned or you may quietly build a positive reputation. Ultimately, whether to speak up or stay silent is a strategic choice—one you must make in real time.
Possible Gains
Silence is a lost art; one that lawyers should utilize more intentionally in their practice.
- By allowing yourself a few moments to process what opposing counsel has said and how you wish to respond, you could save yourself from saying something you will regret. Whether responding poorly or providing too much information, a quick, impulsive response may backfire. Timing is everything.
- Sometimes the opposing party’s argument does not require rebuttal. By staying silent and refusing to entertain unreasonable antics, you appear reasonable, and even confident. This may boost the court’s perception of you at the present hearing, future hearings, and in future matters.
- Prolonged periods of silence in a conversation may make the other party feel like they need to keep the conversation going. Their discomfort may compel them to offer more information than they would have had you immediately responded. This is beneficial in negotiations with opposing counsel, or in factual interviews with clients.
- As a lawyer, your clients want to be heard. They want to know you have a holistic understanding of their case, and that you understand their concerns moving forward. By staying silent and engaging in active, thoughtful listening, you are more likely to gain your client’s trust.
- The best form of confidence is one which speaks for itself. Maintaining a quiet, cool demeanor may improve your reputation for years to come.
Integrating Intentional Silence on a Day-to-Day Basis
As a first-year associate, contributing to every conversation is especially tempting. I quickly learned that the most effective way to prove that I am an asset to the team is through my work product. Although my perspective and experiences are valuable to the team, they are not always necessary. In situations like client meetings, however, I make a point of speaking up to reassure clients that I am well-equipped to handle their case.
Taking the appropriate time to listen to others’ conversations has afforded me many opportunities. I learn a great deal by simply listening to the conversations and strategies of numerous experienced, skilled trial attorneys in the firm. Further, by paying attention to discussions regarding upcoming deadlines and active cases, I have sought out opportunities that otherwise may not have been available to me had I not spoken up at the right time.
Attorneys must remember: Even when you are staying silent, you must convey your attentiveness through your body language and nonverbal cues.
Conclusion
Lawyers are always ready to talk—ready to tell you why they are right, why you are wrong, and everything in between. In your next client interview, negotiation, or hearing, I encourage you to stop, take a few moments, then respond if necessary. You may just be one step closer to becoming a more thoughtful, attentive lawyer.
